Musical Instruments I Don't Play Anymore and the Reasons Why I Don't Play Them Anymore

Piano - too hard
Mouth Organ - too small
Penny whistle - too fiddly
Cello - too big
Tambourine - too gay
Keyboard - too many fun noises
Bottle xylophone - evaporation
Trumpet - at neighbour's request
Electric guitar - at wife's request
Trombone - burst lung