Top 10 Sandwich fillings

1. Coronation Chicken
2. Tuna Mayo
3. Chips
4. Jam
5. Cheese & Pickle
6. Sausage
7. Chorizo, Cheese & Mayo
8. BLT
9. BL
10. B

Top Ten Cakes

1. Battenburg
2. Victoria Sponge
3. Crumble
4. Chocolate based cakes
5. Carrot cake
   
6. Cheesecake (Must have biscuit base) (double points for fruit topping)
7. Black forest gateux
8. Spotted dick (easy on the spots)
9. Pancake
   
10. Fruit Cake
    

iPod, iShuffle, iTunes, iPhone .. what next for apple?

iToaster
iSpend
iAK45
iPiss
iIllegallydownload
iPlasticbag
iPrunes
iDon'twork
iComb
iCake
iBun
iTrousers
iShades (not a bad iDea)

What have they all got in common?

Stilian Petrov
Aston Villa

Anthony Gardner
Tottenham

David Murphy
Birmingham

Steven Taylor
Newcastle

Luke Moore
Aston Villa

Zatyiah Knight
Aston Villa

Ben Hutchinson
Middlesbrough

Joey Barton
Newcastle

Dickson Etuhu
Sunderland

Bobby Zamora
West Ham

Abou Diaby
Arsenal

Dwight Yorke
Sunderland

Stern John
Sunderland

Ashley Cole
Chelsea

Javier Mascherano
Liverpool

Steve Howard
Derby

Rade Prica
Sunderland

Giles Barnes
Derby

Phil Jagielka
Everton

Joseph Yobo
Everton

Brett Emerton
Blackburn

Fabio Aurelio
Liverpool

Emre Belözoglu
Newcastle

Nedum Onuoha
Manchester City

Lee Carsley
Birmingham

Dean Whitehead
Sunderland

Nemanja Vidic
Manchester United

Abdoulaye Diagne-Faye
Newcastle

Leroy Lita
Reading

Carlos Bocanegra
Fulham

Gilberto
Tottenham

Anthony Stokes
Sunderland

Liam Ridgewell
Birmingham

Victor Anichebe
Everton

George Boateng
Middlesbrough

Marlon King
Wigan

Kelvin Etuhu
Manchester City

David Dunn
Blackburn

Noe Pamarot
Portsmouth

Gilberto Silva
Arsenal

Claudio Cacapa
Newcastle

Marek Matejovsky
Reading

Ivan Campo
Bolton

Lewin Nyatanga
Derby

Andy Reid
Sunderland

Scott Parker
West Ham

Lee Cattermole
Middlesbrough

Wilfred Bouma
Aston Villa

Gavin McCann
Bolton

Kalifa Ciss
Reading

Liam Miller
Sunderland

Ji-Sung Park
Manchester United

Glen Johnson
Portsmouth

Fabio Rochemback
Middlesbrough

Daniel Omoya Braaten
Bolton

Freddie Sears
West Ham

Habib Beye
Newcastle

Robert Huth
Middlesbrough

Danny Collins
Sunderland

Jonathan Woodgate
Tottenham

Chris Riggott
Middlesbrough

Hameur Bouazza
Fulham

Sami HyypiÃ
Liverpool

Mikel Arteta
Everton

Sol Campbell
Portsmouth

Jamie O'Hara
Tottenham

Luke Young
Middlesbrough

Kevin Kilbane
Wigan

Jason Koumas
Wigan

Michael Dawson
Tottenham

Alan Stubbs
Derby

Curtis Davies
Aston Villa

David Jones
Derby

Bacary Sagna
Arsenal

Tyrone Mears
Derby

Mohamed Lamine Sissoko
Liverpool

Paul Scholes
Manchester United

Adam Johnson
Middlesbrough

Gary Speed
Bolton

John Terry
Chelsea

George McCartney
West Ham

Daniel Sturridge
Manchester City

Ricardo Carvalho
Chelsea

Lassana Diarra
Portsmouth

Robert Earnshaw
Derby

Matthew Upson
West Ham

Tamir Cohen
Bolton

Stephen Warnock
Blackburn

Wes Brown
Manchester United

James Vaughan
Everton

Andy Todd
Derby

G'days....

1. Birthday
2. Pancake Day
3. Christmas Day
4. Holiday
5. Independance Day (the film)
6. Saturday
7. Friday
8. Mid-Day
9. National speak like a pirate day
10. Joke of the day
11. Darren Day
12. Faraday
13. Wackaday

The Brown Foods Group

Nutritionists advise us to have a balanced diet, to avoid too much of one thing. A handy rule of thumb is to eat 5 fruits a day, 5 types of pudding and 5 brown foods a day. Stick to a packet of winegums, a whole battenburg cake and 5 or more of the following brown foods every day and you'll be fine:

Bread
Pastry
Sausage rolls
Pies
Cheese
Biscuits
Potatoes in all their various forms, including Smash
Toast
Croissants
Muffins
Cake (Don't worry, a brown pudding does not count twice)
Dumplings
Curry
Kebab
Chocolate
Peanut butter
Nuts
Marmite
Nutella
Meat - all forms
Crisps
Scones
Tea cakes
Beer

Note: brown vegetables (parsnips, turnips, swede) are technically not part of the brown foods group, they are officially classified as sort of yellowish.

17 things to do before you die

1. feel unwell
2. feel worse
3. feel really really bad
4. suffer searing pain in chest
5. clutch heart
6. heart stops
7. panic
8. take terminal breath
9. evacuate bowels
10. brain starts to die
11. see welcoming white light
12. see self as if floating above
13. smile blissfully
14. brain dies
15. welcoming white light fades to black
16. experience immense disappointment
17. not smiling any more

Top Ten Playground Games

1. Conkers
2. Bulldog
3. Marbles
4. Football (with a tennis ball)
5. Tag
6. Pogs
7. Stuck in the Mud
8. Hopskotch
9. Skidding
10. Army

Pimp my..

lawnmower
wheelchair
comode
palimpsest
toaster
archimedes screw
kumquat
herb garden
anglepoise
illuminated manuscript
prostitute

Truth and Lies

1. You are my honey, honeysuckle.
2. I am the bee.
3. I am the egg man.
4. I shot the sherrif.
5. I did not shoot no deputy.
6. I come from a land down under.
7. I love the sound of breaking glass.
8. There are two men in my life.
9. Baby I was born to run.
10. Girls just wanna have fun.
11. She loves you
12. I got you (I feel good)
13. You can't always get what you want.
    

Only 5 and 13 are true

List of days on which I will not be posting any lists due to holiday

25th October 2008
26th October 2008
27th October 2008
28th October 2008
29th October 2008
30th October 2008
31st October 2008
Possibly 1st November 2008 depending on what time I get back home

Failed Friendships and Reasons For Failure

Chris B - drunkenness (mine)
Brian G - lost touch
Steve G - apathy
Al - holiday
Jon - uninvited sexual advances
Frazer - avoidance (his)
Graham - apathy
Bren - apathy
Pal - avoidance (mine)
Chris S - apathy
Alan M - apathy
B - unreconcilable musical differences
Lee - apathy

Top Ten Garden Tools

1. Chainsaw
2. Axe
3. Strimmer
4. Hoe
5. Rake
6. Lawnmower
7. Fork
8. Spade
9. Shovel
10. Shears
    
11. Trowel
    

Musical Instruments I Don't Play Anymore and the Reasons Why I Don't Play Them Anymore

Piano - too hard
Mouth Organ - too small
Penny whistle - too fiddly
Cello - too big
Tambourine - too gay
Keyboard - too many fun noises
Bottle xylophone - evaporation
Trumpet - at neighbour's request
Electric guitar - at wife's request
Trombone - burst lung

Top Ten Excuses

1. Dog ate it
2. Alarm didn't go off
3. Leaves on the track
4. Stuck in traffic
5. Credit crunch
6. Snowed in
7. Cat was sick on it
8. Family Problems
9. Womens problems(Beyond the scope of this blog)
   
10. Incontinence
    

Cool Vid - not a list

Chess

World's Best Mug Slogans

World's best Mum
World's best Dad
World's best Brother
World's best Sister
World's best Grandmother
World's best Grandfather
World's best Step Brother
World's best Dad's New Partner
World's best 'Uncle'
World's best Mum's Current Boyfriend
World's best Fosterparent
World's best Social Worker
World's best Arresting Officer
World's best Defence Lawyer
World's best Prison Visitor
World's best Probation Officer

Non SI Units - Supplement

There is of course a tendency in the media to describe large areas in terms of Belgium or Wales as in, 'An area half the size of Belgium is deforested each year', or 'An area the size of Wales was recently under water in last week's floods in err Wales.'

Top Ten Non-SI Units

1. Double Decker Buses
2. Eiffel Towers
3. Empire State Buildings
4. Football pitches (real football)
   
5. Blue whales
6. Times round The Earth
7. Olympic swimming pools
8. The Sun
9. Distance to the moon
10. Domestic light bulbs
    

CDs

File ref	Artist	Album
89	AfroCelt Sound System	Further In time
326	albinoni	adagio
A19	Amiina	Kurr
145	anthology of english folk	cd1
147	anthology of english folk	cd2
A9	Arcade fire	Neon Bible
281	armstrong gibbs	dale and fell
307	armstrong gibbs	songs
260	athlete	beautiful (single)
35	Athlete	Tourist
57	Athlete	Vehicles and Animals
12	Athlete	Vehicles and Animals DVD
217	athlete	you got the style
233	baby bird	ugly beautiful
317	bach	brandenberg concertos
207	Badly Drawn Boy	have you fed the fish?
123	Badly Drawn Boy	Once Around The Block (Single)
365	bat for lashes	fur and gold
255	beck	odelay
168	bessy smith	the essential cd1
169	bessy smith	the essential cd2
338	billie holliday	lady in satin
336	billie holliday	lover man
239	bix beiderbecke	collection
A5	Bizet	Carmen
5	Bjork	Debut
25	Bjork	Homogenic
39	Bjork	Medulla
285	Bjork	post
A35	Bjork	Volta
183	blue	one love
244	blur	country house (single)
27	Blur	Leisure
265	blur	parklife
37	Blur	The Great Escape
273	blur	think tank
323	britten	st nicholas
387	Britten	Turn of the screw
193	busted	a present for everyone
209	byrd	Masses for 4 and 5 voices
95	Cahornega	Cahhornega
220	cd review 1992	pick of the year
373	charlotte gainsbourg	05:55
219	chill compilation	chill compilation
218	christina aguilera	can't hold us down
23	Coldplay	A rush of blood to the head
7	Coldplay	Parachutes
155	crosby / sinatra	christmas
71	Dandy Warhols	13 Tales
54	Daniel Agust	Swallowed A Star
a71	debussy	l'oeuvre pour piano cd1
a75	debussy	l'oeuvre pour piano cds 2 & 3
a73	debussy	l'oeuvre pour piano cds 4 & 5
A23	Delius	On hearing the first cuckoo in spring
375	devendra banhart	cripple crow
349	dido	life for rent
125	Die Arzte	Gerausch CD1
127	Die Arzte	Gerausch CD2
105	Dirty Pretty Things	Waterloo to anywhere
251	dodgy	free peace sweet
249	dodgy	homegrown
65	Doves	The Last Broadcast
316	dvorak	golden spinning wheel
318	dvorak	piano concerto 33
185	dvorak	string serenade
225	echobelly	everyones got one
173	echobelly	on
241	elastica	elastica
a49	elgar	cello concerto, sea pictures
41	Eliza Carthy	Anglicana
75	Eliza Carthy	Definitive Collection
31	Eliza Carthy	Rough Music
224	ella fitzgerald	30 by ella
199	ella fitzgerald	gold cd1
200	ella fitzgerald	gold cd2
333	ella fitzgerald	gold collection cd1
334	ella fitzgerald	gold collection cd2
335	ella fitzgerald	jerome kern song book
182	ella fitzgerald	the best of the songbooks
73	Emma Kirkby	Time Stands Still
a69	emma pollack	watch the fireworks
152	faure	nocturnes
319	faure	quartet
299	faure	requiem
247	fountains of wayne	welcome interstate managers
33	Franz Ferdinand	Franz Ferdinand
295	garbage	garbage
175	giuliani	guitar concertos
21	Goldfrapp	Black Cherry
121	Goldfrapp	Felt Mountain
133	Goldfrapp	Supernature
267	gomez	liquid skin
A15	Gus Gus	Forever
331	handel	messiah cd1
332	handel	messiah cd2
171	hans rott	symphony in E maj
139	hayseed dixie	a hillbilly tribute to ac dc
350	humperdinck	hansel and gretel cd1
359	humperdinck	hansel and gretel cd2
3	Ian Brown	Music of the spheres
165	iarla o lionaird	invisible fields
261	idlewild	the remote part
345	idlewild	warnings promises
211	jennifer lopez	jenny from the block
371	joanna newsom	the milk eyed mender
367	joanna newsom	ys
101	John Lee Hooker	Trouble Blues
A1	Josh Groban	awake
43	Kaiser Chiefs	Employment
272	karine polwart	faultlines
163	karine polwart	scribbled in chalk
93	Kasabian	Empire
303	kate bush	the red shoes
47	Kate Rusby	10
381	Kate Rusby	Awkward Annie
49	Kate Rusby	Hourglass
135	Kate Rusby	Little lights
129	Kate Rusby	Sleepless
51	Kate Rusby	The Girl Who Couldn't Fly
59	Kate Rusby	Underneath The Stars
263	keane	hope and fears
353	kenna	new sacred cow
A41	kent	du & jag döden
A17	Kent	Hagnesta Hill
A13	Kent	Isola
a61	kent	tillbaka till samtiden
A29	Kent	Vapen and ammunition
379	Kent	Verkligen
111	Kings of Leon	Youth and Young Manhood
99	Kinky Friedman	From One Good American to Another
293	kula shaker	kula shaker
340	lalo	symphonie espagnole
A45	lavender diamond	imagine our love
63	Led Zeppelin	III
69	Led Zeppelin	IV
275	Led Zeppelin	prescence
291	lightning seeds	dizzy heights
223	little walter	blues with a feeling
327	lloyd webber	joseph
144	louis armstrong	I've got rhythm
151	louis jordan	jump jive
243	madonna	american life
13	Mahler	Symphony No. 5
357	maroon 5	songs about jane
A37	maroon 5	songs about jane
A47	maximo park	a certain trigger
A21	Maximo Park	Our earthly pleasures
192	mcfly	room on the 3rd floor
253	mercury rev	all is dream
313	mercury rev	secret migration
181	michael keen	Duo pastoral (recorder)
259	moby	18
245	moby	play
389	mozart	Marriage of Figaro
322	mozart	requiem
156	mozart	symphony 40 etc
154	mozart	symphony 41
228	mozart	symphony no. 40
a55	mozart	violin concertos cd1
a57	mozart	violin concertos cd2
377	nathan fake	drowning in a sea of love
355	Nightmares on wax	car boot soul
117	Nightmares on wax	In a space Outta soul
157	NOW 44	NOW 44
191	now 53	cd1
187	now 64	cd1
188	now 64	cd2
103	Oasis	Definitely maybe
102	Oasis	Roll with it
A33	oklahoma	sound track
124	Padraig Carroll	The Irish Mandolin (Tutor CD)
339	palestrina	mass
202	palestrina	missa aeterna christi munera
201	palestrina	missa papae marcelle
347	paolo nutini	these streets
186	part	arbos
341	part	BACH
212	passamezzo	galimaufry
342	pergolesi	stabat mater
A27	Peter bjorn and john	Falling out
A11	Peter bjorn and john	Peter Bjorn and John
A7	Peter bjorn and john	Writer's Block
77	Pink Floyd	Animals
287	Pink Floyd	dark side of the moon
283	Pink Floyd	saucer full of secrets
79	Pink Floyd	Wish You Were Here
337	porgy and bess	porgy and bess
305	portishead	dummy
329	pulp	common people
320	purcell	birthday odes for queen mary
324	purcell	didp and anaeus
210	purcell	olinda
179	purcell (kirkby)	music for awhile
227	rachmaninov	piano concerto 2 and 3
271	radiohead	hail to the thief
246	radiohead	just (single)
131	Radiohead	Kid A
29	Radiohead	Pablo Honey
1	Radiohead	The bends
61	Ray Lamontagne	Trouble
297	rem	automatic for the people
279	rem	document
215	rem	green
203	rem	life's rich pageant
205	rem	monster
213	rem	murmur
311	rem	reckoning
301	rem	the best of
17	Roddy Woomble	My Secret Is my Silence
a59	russell watson	outside in
a51	schubert	ave maria - songs
143	schubert	die sonne mullesien
A31	schubert	lieder
363	scissor sisters	scissor sisters
a63	scraping foetus off the wheel	hole
a65	scraping foetus off the wheel	nail
159	seal	seal
369	seth lakeman	freedom fields
19	Sheryl Crow	C'mon, c'mon
149	show of hands	country life cd
150	show of hands	country life promo
55	Sigur Ros	( )
53	Sigur Ros	Takk
170	simon mayor	mandolin tutor
343	sinead o connor	am I not your girl?
330	six pence none the richer	kiss me
257	snow patrol	eyes open
a67	sol seppy	psssscheoow
361	sol seppy	the bells of 1 2
328	sonny boy williamson	9 below 0
315	Sor	Guitar favourites
235	starsailor	silence is easy
158	steps	steps
153	stern's african moves	vol 2
325	sting	dream of blu turtles
85	Stravinsky	The Rite Of Spring / Firebird
189	sugarbabes	angels with dirty faces
167	sugarbabes	three
289	supergrass	I should coco
177	supergrass	in it for the money
97	Tallis	Lamentations of Jeremiah
96	Tallis	Spem In Alium
91	Tchaikovsky	Symphony 6
a77	tchaikovsky	symphony 6 + eugene oneguine
a53	tchaikovsky	violin concerto
137	Tears for fears	the hurting
195	the big session	vol 1
113	The chillout sessions	CD1
115	The chillout sessions	CD2
141	the cranberries	everybody else is doing it so why can't we?
383	The Fray	How to save a life
119	The Killers	Sam's Town
9	The Knife	Deep Cuts
11	The Knife	Deep Cuts DVD
83	The Knife	Silent Shout
15	The Knife	The Knife
351	the kooks	inside out
197	the libertines	the libertines
229	the police	regatta de blanc
67	The Strokes	Is this it
277	the thrills	so much for the city
107	The very best of pure hip hop	CD1
109	The very best of pure hip hop	CD2
81	The White Stripes	Elephant
237	the who	best of
221	tracy chapman	collection
269	travis	the man who
45	Turin Brakes	jack In a Box
87	U2	Achtung Baby
92	Various	Blues Collection
190	Various	christmas
385	Various (Mojo)	In search of Syd
A3	Various (Previn)	Klassic fur kinder
A39	Various Artist	Unforgettable love songs
161	vashti bunyan	just another diamond day
176	vaughan williams	a sea symphony (no. 1)
A25	vaughan williams	Fantasia on a theme by thomas tallis
344	verdi	favourites
321	wagner	various
231	walton	belshazzar's feast
309	yann tiersen	amelie