21 Longest Novels (by word count)

Book Title	Author	# of Words	Language	Volumes
Artamène	Madeleine and Georges de Scudéry	2,100,000	French	10
Les Hommes de Bonne Volonté	Jules Romains	2,070,000	French	27
het bureau	J. J. Voskuil	1,590,000	Dutch	7
In Search of Lost Time	Marcel Proust	1,500,000[1]	French	7
L'Astrée	Honoré d'Urfé (completed by Balthazar Baro and Pierre Boitel)	1,422,700	French	6
Clarissa, or, the History of a Young Lady	Samuel Richardson	969,000[2] Third edition substantially increased text to over 1 million words.	English	9
Sironia, Texas	Madison Cooper	1,100,000[3] (est.)[4]	English	2
Zettels Traum	Arno Schmidt	~1,000,000	German	1
Poor Fellow My Country	Xavier Herbert	850,000[5]	English	1
Women and Men	Joseph McElroy	716,000	English	1
Miss MacIntosh, My Darling	Marguerite Young	700,000[6]	English	1
Varney the Vampire	James Malcolm Rymer (alternatively attributed to Thomas Preskett Prest)	667,000[7]	English	1
The Man Without Qualities	Robert Musil	657,000	German	3
Atlas Shrugged	Ayn Rand	645,000[8]	English	1
The Vicomte of Bragelonne: Ten Years Later	Alexandre Dumas, père	626,000[9][10][11]	French	1
A Suitable Boy	Vikram Seth	591,552[12]	English	1
Infinite Jest	David Foster Wallace	575,000[13]	English	1
War and Peace	Leo Tolstoy	560,000[14]	Russian/French	4
Il mulino del Po	Riccardo Bacchelli	559,800	Italian	3
Remembrance Rock	Carl Sandburg	532,030[15]	English	1
Les Misérables	Victor Hugo	513,000	French	1

Unemployment rate (%) of countries begining with B

Bahrain 15
Bangladesh 5.0
Barbados 9.4
Belarus 0.7
Belgium 7.3
Belize 12.6
Bermuda 4.5
Bhutan 4.0
Bolivia 6.0
Bosnia and Herzegovina 29.2
Botswana 7.5
Brazil 6.5
British Virgin Islands (United Kingdom) 3.1
Brunei 3.7
Bulgaria 11.2
Burma 4.9

Useful toll free numbers - Mumbai

Airlines


Indian Airlines – (1800 180 1407)

Jet Airways – (1800 22 5522)

Spice Jet – (1800 180 3333)

Kingfisher – (1800 180 0101)



Banks

ABN AMRO – (1800 11 2224)

Canara Bank – (1800 44 6000)

Citibank – (1800 44 2265)

Corporation Bank – (1800 443 555)

Development Credit Bank – (1800 22 5769)

HDFC Bank – (1800 227 227)

ICICI Bank – (1800 333 499)

ICICI Bank NRI – (1800 22 4848)

IDBI Bank – (1800 11 6999)

Indian Bank – (1800 425 1400)

ING Vysya – (1800 44 9900)

Kotak Mahindra Bank – (1800 22 6022)

Punjab National Bank – (1800 122 222)

State Bank of India – (1800 44 1955)

Syndicate Bank – (1800 44 6655)



Automobiles

Mahindra Scorpio – (1800 22 6006)

Maruti – (1800 111 515)

Tata Motors – (1800 22 5552)

Windshield Experts – (1800 11 3636)



Computers/IT

Adrenalin – (1800 444 445)

AMD – (1800 425 6664)

Apple Computers – (1800 444 683)

Canon – (1800 333 366)

Cisco Systems – (1800 221 777)

Compaq – HP – (1800 444 999)

Data One Broadband – (1800 424 1800)

Dell – (1800 444 026)

Epson – (1800 44 0011)

eSys – (3970 0011)

Genesis Tally Academy – (1800 444 888)

HCL – (1800 180 8080)

IBM – (1800 443 333)

Lexmark – (1800 22 4477)

Marshal’s Point – (1800 33 4488)

Microsoft – (1800 111 100)

Microsoft Virus Update – (1901 333 334)

Seagate – (1800 180 1104)

Symantec – (1800 44 5533)

TVS Electronics – (1800 444 566)

WeP Peripherals – (1800 44 6446)

Wipro – (1800 333 312)

Xerox – (1800 180 1225)

Zenith – (1800 222 004)



Railways

Indian Railway General Enquiry 131

Indian Railway Central Enquiry 131

Indian Railway Reservation 131

Indian Railway Railway Reservation Enquiry 1345,1335,1330

Indian Railway Centralised Railway Enquiry 1330/1/2/3/4/ 5/6/7/8/9



Couriers/Packers & Movers

ABT Courier – (1800 44 8585)

AFL Wizz – (1800 22 9696)

Agarwal Packers & Movers – (1800 11 4321)

Associated Packers P Ltd – (1800 21 4560)

DHL – (1800 111 345)

FedEx – (1800 22 6161)

Goel Packers & Movers – (1800 11 3456)

UPS – (1800 22 7171)



Home Appliances

Aiwa/Sony – (1800 11 1188)

Anchor Switches – (1800 22 7979)

Blue Star – (1800 22 2200)

Bose Audio – (1800 11 2673)

Bru Coffee Vending Machines – (1800 44 7171)

Daikin Air Conditioners – (1800 444 222)

DishTV – (1800 12 3474)

Faber Chimneys – (1800 21 4595)

Godrej – (1800 22 5511)

Grundfos Pumps – (1800 33 4555)

LG – (1901 180 9999)

Philips – (1800 22 4422)

Samsung – (1800 113 444)

Sanyo – (1800 11 0101)

Voltas – (1800 33 4546)

WorldSpace Satellite Radio – (1800 44 5432)



Investments/ Finance

CAMS – (1800 44 2267)

Chola Mutual Fund – (1800 22 2300)

Easy IPO’s – (3030 5757)

Fidelity Investments – (1800 180 8000)

Franklin Templeton Fund – (1800 425 4255)

J M Morgan Stanley – (1800 22 0004)

Kotak Mutual Fund – (1800 222 626)

LIC Housing Finance – (1800 44 0005)

SBI Mutual Fund – (1800 22 3040)

Sharekhan – (1800 22 7500)

Tata Mutual Fund – (1800 22 0101)



Travel

Club Mahindra Holidays – (1800 33 4539)

Cox & Kings – (1800 22 1235)

God TV Tours – (1800 442 777)

Kerala Tourism – (1800 444 747)

Kumarakom Lake Resort – (1800 44 5030

Raj Travels & Tours – (1800 22 9900)

Sita Tours – (1800 111 911)

SOTC Tours – (1800 22 3344)



Healthcare

Best on Health – (1800 11 8899)

Dr Batras – (1800 11 6767)

GlaxoSmithKline – (1800 22 8797)

Johnson & Johnson – (1800 22 8111)

Kaya Skin Clinic – (1800 22 5292)

LifeCell – (1800 44 5323)

Manmar Technologies – (1800 33 4420)

Pfizer – (1800 442 442)

Roche Accu-Chek – (1800 11 4546)

Rudraksha – (1800 21 4708)

Varilux Lenses – (1800 44 8383)

VLCC – (1800 33 1262)



Insurance

AMP Sanmar – (1800 44 2200)

Aviva – (1800 33 2244)

Bajaj Allianz – (1800 22 5858)

Chola MS General Insurance – (1800 44 5544)

HDFC Standard Life – (1800 227 227)

LIC – (1800 33 4433)

Max New York Life – (1800 33 5577)

Royal Sundaram – (1800 33 8899)

SBI Life Insurance – (1800 22 9090)



Hotel Reservations

GRT Grand – (1800 44 5500)

InterContinental Hotels Group – (1800 111 000)

Marriott – (1800 22 0044)

Sarovar Park Plaza – (1800 111 222)

Taj Holidays – (1800 111 825)



Teleshopping

Asian Sky Shop – (1800 22 1800)

Jaipan Teleshoppe – (1800 11 5225)

Tele Brands – (1800 11 8000)

VMI Teleshopping – (1800 447 777)

WWS Teleshopping – (1800 220 777)



Others

Domino’s Pizza – (1800 111 123)



Cell Phones

BenQ – (1800 22 08 08)

Motorola MotoAssist – (1800 11 1211)

Nokia – (3030 3838)

Sony Ericsson – (3901 1111)



Mattresses

Kurl-on – 1800 44 0404

Sleepwell – 1800 11 2266

real names

Real names of real people who we know exist and are not just made up for comedic effect:

John Wheel
Brian Wardrobe
Caroline Cheese
Norman Christmas
Graham Sex
Debbie Bugler
Brian Gay

Ross Skinner Bingo

YOU DID WHAT SORRY?!



SOUNDS PAINFUL



IT’S HUMP DAY; UPHILL FROM MONDAY, DOWNHILL TO FRIDAY



HE’S KICKED THE BUCKET



FUBAR/SNAFU (one always triggers the other, and an explanation of the etymology)



THE DAYTONA



1900 AND FROZEN TO DEATH



YOU CAN ASK ME WHATEVER YOU LIKE, WHETHER YOU GET A SENSIBLE ANSWER OR NOT IS A DIFFERENT THING



FORTY TWO



BOTTOM BRACKET



SEE YOU AT THE WINNING POST



HEADWIND/TAILWIND



I NEED TO HAVE A SMALL BONFIRE



HE HAD TO GIVE ME AN INJECTION TO EXTRACT MY WALLET



GUZONTIKE (german)



YEAH, RIGHT



I KNOW NAATHING



FAIR ENOUGH



SCUSE EMOIR MESHURE (french)



WIRE BRUSH AND DETTOL



HUG A COLUMN



(IS IT) A CUNNING PLAN?



IS THAT THE TIME?



MY EARS ARE BURNING



EXPLOSION IN A BISCUIT FACTORY



WHISKEY AND DOMESTOS, KILLS 99% OF ALL KNOWN GERMS AND MAKES THE REST TOO DRUNK TO WORRY ABOUT



IT’S LIKE FRENCH KNITTING WITH 300 MM PIPE



WELCOME TO [DAY OF WEEK]



WHO’S CALLING THE GOLDEN SHOT?



DO ME A FAVOUR



MAY THE FLEAS OF A THOUSAND CAMELS INFEST YOUR ARMPITS



DON’T GIVE UP YOUR DAY JOB



TEA’S UP!



SWIFT KICK IN THE COIN BOX



I’M ALRIGHT, IT’S THE OTHERS I’M WORRIED ABOUT



VIRGIN ON THE RIDICULOUS



RAINWATER PIPES SHOULD GO ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE BUILDING



ARE YOU GOING TO BLIND THEM WITH SCIENCE OR BAFFLE THEM WITH BULLSHIT?



I’LL WAKE UP IN A MINUTE



OVERRATED, OVERPAID AND OVER HERE



YES, NO OR INDIFFERENT (or any choice of two options, followed by ‘indifferent’. e.g up, down or indifferent; right, wrong or indifferent etc.)



IN A RIGHT MUCKIN’ FUDDLE



WELL THERE YOU GO

Updated daily
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EtPGXYWmiljcZuQTn-l_ThBIV9X17aMHcrX2eKpveeA/edit?hl=en_GB&pli=1#

7 Boys of the Week

Monboy
Tuesboy
Wednesboy
Thursboy
Friboy
Saturboy
Sunboy

Things which are good hot or cold but never lukewarm

Milk
Custard
Ambrosia creamed rice
Quiche
The beach
Pants
Water
Tea
Bed sheets
Jam tarts
Bread
Whiskey
Cheese sandwich
Shower
Weather
Dogs (that's right, cold dogs)
Blood

The Works of Shakespeare

Comedies

• All's Well That Ends Well
• As You Like It
• The Comedy of Errors
• Love's Labour's Lost
• Measure for Measure
• The Merchant of Venice
• The Merry Wives of Windsor
• A Midsummer Night's Dream
• Much Ado About Nothing
• Pericles, Prince of Tyre
• The Taming of the Shrew
• The Tempest
• Twelfth Night, or What You Will
• The Two Gentlemen of Verona
• The Two Noble Kinsmen
• The Winter's Tale

Histories

• King John
• Richard II
• Henry IV, part 1
• Henry IV, part 2
• Henry V
• Henry VI, part 1
• Henry VI, part 2
• Henry VI, part 3
• Richard III
• Henry VIII

Tragedies

• Romeo and Juliet
• Coriolanus
• Titus Andronicus
• Timon of Athens
• Julius Caesar
• Macbeth
• Hamlet
• Troilus and Cressida
• King Lear
• Othello
• Antony and Cleopatra
• Cymbeline

Poems

• Shakespeare's Sonnets
• Venus and Adonis
• The Rape of Lucrece
• The Passionate Pilgrim
• The Phoenix and the Turtle
• A Lover's Complaint

Other works occasionally attributed to Shakespeare

• Love's Labour's Won
• Cardenio
• Arden of Faversham
• The Birth of Merlin
• Locrine
• The London Prodigal
• The Puritan
• The Second Maiden's Tragedy
• Sir John Oldcastle
• Thomas Lord Cromwell
• A Yorkshire Tragedy
• Edward III
• Sir Thomas More

23 Facts

Twenty three is the lowest prime that consists of consecutive digits.

The number has been the subject of two films: the 1998 German movie, 23, and The Number 23, starring Jim Carrey.

John Forbes Nash, the Nobel Prize-winning economist who was the subject of the film, A Beautiful Mind, starring Russell Crowe, was obsessed with 23. His breakdown began when he claimed that a photograph of Pope John XXIII was in fact him. Nash published 23 scientific articles.

Charles Darwin's Origin of Species was published in 1859 - 1+8+5+9 = 23.

The Hiroshima bomb was dropped at 8.15am - 8+15= 23.

23rdians are a group of people who subscribe to the mystical power of 23.

The Chinese believe numbers convey sexuality - evens for feminine and odds for masculine. They consider prime numbers to be the most masculine, conferring special status on 23 which is made up of two consecutive prime numbers and the only even prime number - two.

In the disaster movie, Airport, the bomber has seat 23.

The number of crosses on Calvary at the end of the Monty Python film, The Life of Brian, is 23.

In Die Hard With A Vengeance, a train derails in subway station 23.

The lead characters in the Coen brothers' film The Big Lebowski always used Lane 23 at the bowling alley.

In the television series Lost, one of the combination of six numbers that haunt the characters and they have to input to a computer to avoid an unknown fate is 23.

The terrorist attacks on America on 11 September 2001 have been held up as one of the most portentous examples of the disturbing power of 23. The figures in the date (9+11+2+0+0+1) add up to 23.

Few hold 23 in more esteem than the followers of Discordianism, a self-declared religion based on the premise that discord and chaos are the building blocks of life. For Discordianists, 23 is the Holy Number and a tribute to the goddess Eris.

Michael Jordan, the American basketball player, wore the number throughout his career.

Best known is former England captain David Beckham, who swapped his number seven Manchester United jersey for number 23 when he joined Real Madrid.

Manchester City have not assigned the squad number 23 to any player since 2003 after the last incumbent, Marc Vivien Foe, collapsed and died while playing for the Cameroon on 26 June 2003.

Marcus Trescothick, the England cricket players, wears number 23 and was Australian bowler Shane Warne's 600th test wicket. Warne also wears 23.

Each parent contributes 23 chromosomes to the start of human life.

The most detailed account of the assassination of Julius Caesar, written by Nicolaus of Damascus, claims numerous enemies stabbed the Roman emperor 23 times.

William Shakespeare was born in Stratford Upon Avon on 23 April 1564. He died 52 years later on his birthday, 23 April 1616.

Kurt Cobain was born in 1967 and died in 1994 - 1+9+6+7= 23, 1+9+9+4 = 23.

In the science fantasy saga, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Chewbacca sneak into detention block AA23 to rescue Princess Leia. The rescue attempt is botched and Leia escapes only by dodging Stormtroopers' laserfire. A police robot called 23 is included in Star Wars director George Lucas' first film, THX 1138.

The Knights Templar, the order of soldier monks who eventually fell foul of the Vatican and have been the subject of conspiracy theories about the Holy Grail, had 23 Grand Masters.

The first morse code transmission - "What hath God wrought?" - was from the Bible passage Numbers 23:23. In telegraphers code 23 means "break the line".

The Birthday Paradox states that a group of 23 randomly-selected people is the smallest number where there will be a probability higher than 50 per cent that two people will share the same birthday.

"W" is the 23rd letter of the Latin alphabet. It has two points down and three points up.

White supremacists use 23 to represent "W" as a mark of racial superiority.

The average human physical biorhythm is 23 days.

UK Bed sizes

Single Bed
36" x 75"

Double Bed
54" x 75"

King Bed
60" x 78"

Super King Bed
72" x 78"